Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
3pm strippers are depressing
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
be right there i have to get my cape
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
