some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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