remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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