i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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