oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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