Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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