i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it was like eating out sand paper
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
