I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
