can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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