i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
