do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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