I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just saw a hot homeless man
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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