Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
