No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Your cock deserves a montage
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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