I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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