i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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