I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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