I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize