i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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