I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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