The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
