dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
