Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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