didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
