Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
