Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize