..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
