Fuck appropriateness.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
