I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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