I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
