He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
