I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
