are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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