Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
