Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think my moral compass just broke
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