So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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