Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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