Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
