I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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