3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
