I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
