im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
