Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
zippers are such a cool invention
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
