Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
