PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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