Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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