HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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