i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize