i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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