i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
