we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
