i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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