Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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