Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
