i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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