Christians are straight up FREAKS
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
