im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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