now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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