soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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