i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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