my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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