either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
